Zachary updates

We're doing great. :) I cannot get over how great of a baby Z is. He is soooo laid back. He sleeps great, I've been getting more sleep now than I did while I was pregnant. :)

He is a lazy nurser though. ;) He will nurse for a bit, then pop off and milk will spray everywhere, then he'll look around, get mad, then latch back on and nurse some more, then pop off...etc. ugh. That is the only thing that drives me nuts. :) Other than that, he is a wonderful baby. I hate to say that N was a tough baby, but he is so much better.

Doug goes back to work on Monday and we'll adjust.

Zachary Alexander has arrived.

We got to the hospital around 9:30pm and the midwives checked me and I was about 3cm and 70% effaced, so foley bulb was out. The foley is smaller than 1cm and anything bigger than that and it doesn't do anything. So she said we could go ahead and start a small amount of pitocin...then see how my body adjusted and turn it down or off.

I was really tired but not able to sleep b/c of all the monitors and iv and drama, so I asked if they could give me something to sleep. She brought me an ambien to help me sleep and they started the pit around 11 pm. I still couldn't sleep much, but on and off. Doug got a little sleep and I got a little. I was doing fine, not hurting too bad, contractions getting closer together and stronger. I woke around 3ish and was hurting pretty bad. I started thinking I just couldn't do it. I was hurting and started crying some and telling Doug I hoped he didn't think I was a wuss, but I wanted the epi. So we asked the nurse and around 3:30/4 they ordered the epi. I was breathing through the contractions and thinking the epi better get here quick. Well, I was also sort of thinking in the back of my head that I must be in transition b/c that's when you start thinking they better find another way to get the baby out b/c he is NOT coming out the way they think he is. :) But I didn't think there was any way I could already be in transition.

So a few minutes pass (which seems like hours), and the midwife comes in and says let's check you and see where you are. So she checks and I was 7cm, 100% effaced and that my bag of water was bulging and he was right at the lip of my cervix. She said, we could wait for the epi, or I can break your water and you can have him out in about 30 minutes. So I was crying and said "ok, fine, let's just do it" b/c by the time the anaes. came in and by the time it took effect he could be born.

I breathed some more and then felt like pushing, while they were getting everything ready. She said, hang on! Then she broke my water and I pushed a couple of times. The anes. came in. LOL. The nurse said "Too late!" and they left. I pushed about four more times and out he popped.

There was some meconium, so they went ahead and had me cut his cord and then suctioned him out.

He's doing great now, I'm doing great and we're thrilled he's here. :) They think the hearing machine is messed up, and want me to take him back in to have him re-tested b/c he failed the left side...but they were having problems with it all day.

9 pounds 3 ounces and 20.5 inches long with a cute round little head. November 6, 2008 at 4:59am.

39 weeks

No real progress from last week. Still about 2+cm and thick. The specialists still want me to induce by 40 weeks. I am going to call my mw tomorrow (since I didn't get to see her today) and just chat with her a little to see what she thinks. I have been having some hard ctrx the last couple of days, and last night, they were regular enough that I stopped and went to do something else to see if they would stop- they slowed, but continued throughout the night. They've stopped today though- well...mostly.
The mw I saw today stripped my membranes again- OUCH! and she said well, it's your third, so you never know- you could be two more weeks, or you could have him tonight.

The u/s was great- he looks really, really good. I feel like he's at least 9 lb, but that's just my guesstimate, so we'll see what happens!

oh and according to them, I've officially gained 24 pounds this pregnancy. With N I gained nearly 50 and with M I gained about 35-40. But this is the most I've ever weighed- I can't wait to get it all off!

Walgreens insanity

I got some insane deals at Walgreens last week. I am trying to remember off the top of my head all of the things, so let's see...

1 L'Oreal Revitalift Anti-Wrinkle Concentrate
1 L'Oreal Revitalift Night Cream
3 Oral B Cross Action Toothbrushes
2 Lysol toilet Cleaners
3 St Ives Elements cleansers
2 Theraflu Warming Relief
1 Maalox Chewable tablets
3 mini pumpkins for candy
1 Halloween goblet
1 Fusion power razor

Spent $31 oop, but $12 was on a gift card from a prescription transfer (free money), so really about $19 out of pocket.
Will get back $16.49 + 10% on wags gift card and $2.99 for Theraflu on MIR.
And... got $19.50 in RR's for future purchases.

So, profit of about...$21.

My experience as a pin cushion

So not really that bad. :) I went to the acupuncturist today and it was interesting. SHe did some work on my sinuses, circulation, and of course, suggesting the baby come on out. I kept asking her what points she was putting needles in, and the only one that hurt was the one that is to open the pelvis. HA! As soon as she put it in, Zachary started squirming around, readjusting his positioning. I lay there for about 30-45 minutes, and then when she removed all of the needles, I stood up and he had already dropped about an inch! Crazy! I've been contracting all day on and off, nothing major or regular...but hopefully it's moving that way!

38 weeks and 2 days

In my pregnancy with Natalya...she was born today! And I'm still pregnant...I'm officially more pregnant now than I've ever been.

38 weeks today

The weird thing to think about is that with Natalya, I was induced at 38 weeks and one day and she was born the following day. Not going to be an issue here though, my bp is perfect, so no hypertension. I have no swelling at all in my feet- no edema. It looks like I am going to be more pregnant this time than ever before! :)

Today's appointments went great- he looks good, measuring great, and the mw stripped my membranes (ouch) and I immediately started having some contractions. She said she thinks he may be over 7 pounds, but he could surprise us b/c he seems to be growing out side-to-side instead of out front. I agree and I think he's at least 8 pounds, probably more. So we'll see. :) He also wasn't too happy with her messing around in there, because he kicked her- twice- while she was stripping. LOL.

I am having some discomfort and contractions from the membrane stripping, but otherwise feel good, so we'll just keep on keeping on and hopefully he'll decide to make an appearance soon. I am still at about 2.5/3 dialation, but am now about 50% effaced from 0% last week, so my body's doing something anyway.

CVS deals for the day

Not too terribly much this week, but a few good deals and only for a buck and a half. :)

I got
2 Funlights (trick-or-treating glow-light thingees)
2 boxes 20-ct Excedrin Express gels Tension Headache
3 boxes Kleenex/lotion
2 twin packs Butler G.U.M. toothbrushes

total out of pocket: $1.50
ECB's earned for future: $9.96

37 weeks +

I had an appt with the maternal fetal specialist today. And another u/s. :) He looks great, and luckily for me, I got to meet with the dr that is the non-worrywart. ;) She said that everything looked perfect, with him and me (blood pressure fine, no protein in my urine, etc) so she didn't see any reason why I'd need to be induced at 39 weeks. She said if I did go past 39 weeks, she would recommend twice weekly monitoring, instead of once, but other than that, me going into labor on my own should be fine. *whew*

And the funny thing? He had his toes in his mouth!!! At first we thought it was his hand but she "focused in" or whatever on the appendage, and it was his foot! Crazy kid!

This afternoon I have a consultation with the accupuncturist, so we'll see how that goes. . . I still plan on going ahead with that, since according to them, it will be better to have him a little early. So I am not opposed to that. As of next Sunday, I will be more pregnant than I have ever been, since I was induced with N and she was born at 38 weeks and two days.

They estimate he's about 7lb 10 oz and his head is measuring over 40 weeks.

Time

Yesterday as she was sitting down to dinner at around 6pm, I halted Natalya:

Me: Natalya- hold it! When's the last time you washed your hands?
Natalya: (without missing a beat) 8:30!
Me: [snickering] well, then it's time to go wash them again.

Why 8:30?? Who knows. :)

37 weeks!!

Holy CRAP!! 37 weeks!

Appts went great today- Z's doing perfect, which we love. :) Nothing interesting from the u/s appt, then onto the mw appt. She had to redo my groupB strep since the lab messed up the last one (she said they were really embarrassed. LOL). So no news there yet. She checked me and I'm "about 2 and a half, but definitely more dialated than last week". She also said she didn't technically strip my membranes, b/c she couldn't reach all the way up there, but she "swished around a little". :) No bleeding or discomfort, so I don't think she did too much.

I am about to go try to make an appt for a 39-week accupcuncture induction. :) We'll see how that goes.

Monday I have an appt with the maternal fetal specialist, another u/s and non-stress test. fun. I will also get to smile and nod when they go on and on about how i will be induced at 39 weeks. I do need to ask them about the heparin- how long after birth I need to wait before I start taking it again, and how long I shold continue taking it after delivery. So at least I can get those q's answered.

I'm SAD! My mw is going to be out of the office the next two weeks, so I may not see her again! I will meet with another mw for the next two appts, then if I make it to 40 weeks, I will meet with Mavis again. She will be available by phone though, so I can certainly call her office. (I have her direct line # hehe)

Meanwhile, all the diapers and clothes are washed and ready. Hospital bags are mostly packed. Z's is packed, and out "after delivery" bag is packed. the labor bag and N's bag are in progress, and I've already got my pillows (including the boppy) in the car. :) Once I get the other bags done, I'm just stuffing them in the car. It's a van. there's room. :) So all I will have to grab will be my daughter, the dogs and the camera, and head out the door. (dogs will be staying with my mom). At this point I am really telling Z that he needs to start things while Doug is at home, I really don't want to have to drive myself to Amanda's (where we'll be hanging out until we check in at the hospital) or have to wait 2+ hours for Doug to get home to drive us.

I've bought N a new pair of pajamas to surprise her with for her stay at grandma's, and I want to pick up a few small things for her to open at the hospital, books and arts things to keep her occupied. Oh, and I have to get the "big sister" shirt. :)

36 weeks already!!

I can't believe I am 36 weeks already!! And they want him here by 39 weeks, which means three weeks if he cooperates! YIPES! I had to have a talk with Doug the other day, he was in denial. ;)

Appts today were good. My grandmother and N went to the u/s appt and we got the BEST 3D pic so far. :) I wish I could show it to you guys. He looks just like N. He is measuring 6lb 13oz and everything measuring between 36 weeks 4 days and 37 weeks 5 days except his big old noggin, measuring 39 weeks 2 days. LOL.

At the mw, everything was good, he was cooperating perfectly while on the monitor, and she checked me, I'm 2 cm (common since I've had two kids) and long and thick, firm still. She said I could start EPO if I want. I also got the name of an accupuncturist and I am going to make an appt for 39 weeks, so if I'm still preggo, I will do that to induce labor. It's supposed to work really well, so I'm all for it. :) She said next week she'll strip my membranes- holding off to let my cervix get a little softer. She also said at 39 weeks, we can talk about castor oil, but honestly, I'm not a fan, and I probably won't do it.

Other than that, I have hit the "wow, I feel really pregnant" stage. :D and I am sick of all the nightmares about losing babies- miscarriages, stillbirth, botched c/sections...I've had them all, and about one a night. I can't wait until he's here and I'm holding him and those stupid dreams stop!!!

35 weeks and all is well

Everything looks great. This is the non-measuring week, so I don't know how his measurements are, but he feels BIG! :)

Next week's appointment will be busy. We're going to start checking my cervix to see how things are going, and if I am dialating at all or effacing. The specialists do not want me going to term and I do not want to be induced, so we're going to do what we can to naturally avoid a pit induction. I will be having my Group B strep test next week (which we hope will be negative) and then maybe stripping my membranes. We will continue to check and strip every week.

I am finally starting to realize that I will be holding a healthy baby at the end of this pregnancy, and it's sort of weird.

CVS Haul

Today was a good CVS day. :) I wish I could take a picture, but since I am hijacking my grandmother's internet...you'll just have to imagine.

Items purchased
1 Softsoap hand pump
2 CoverGirl Clean Foundations
2 Covergirl blush
2 Cascade liquid dishwashing detergent
4 Schick disposable twin packs
4 Betty Crocker warm delights
10 bottles Gold Peak tea
1 Fusion Razor
1 bag Starbucks Breakfast blend coffee beans
1 bag Chai Latte Starbucks truffles

Total spent oop (including ridiculous TN sales tax): $11.76
Total saved: $86.31
ECB's for next week: $11.50

Natalya's observation

Natalya wanted an apple, so she got one out of the drawer and I cut off part of the bottom because it had some black spots and I wanted to make sure it wasn't rotten. After doing so, the bottom was flat and the stem part was kind of a black spot in the middle of the juicy white apple fruit.
I hand her the apple, then...

N: Mommy?
Me: Yes Natalya
N: There's a weed in my apple.
Me: What?
N: There's a weed in my apple. See. Right here. [points to stem]
Me *chuckling*: no honey, that's the stem end. It's not a weed.
N: oh. okay.

A new pic of me

Please forgive me... I had to do this myself since I am disconnecting the cable modem tomorrow and I wanted to get a pic up before that. :) So, this is ... rough. But you can at least see the big ol' belly. :)



Luckily I have not gained any weight in the last 9 weeks. Maybe a pound, I have been between 172/173 since 25 weeks. Seeing as I started out 30 pounds heavier than when I got pg with N, that is a blessing b/c I gained nearly 50lb with her. At this rate I will weigh less full-term with Z than I did with N. That would be weird.

Also, Doug and I have agreed that I am not as big now as I was when I had M. She was a big baby, and I know I was bigger with her at 31 weeks than I am now. I do think I am carrying Z more side-to-side b/c I seem wider than I did with the girls, and I have these bulges on the sides I've neer had before, but I am definitely not sticking out in the front as much...actually, I am not sticking out as much as I was with N either. Strange.

For comparison...
Me at 35 weeks with Natalya


Me at about 29 weeks with Margaret

Natalya is too smart for me.

Friday, Grandma came to visit and I was telling her "Mamu gave Natalya some money for her purse so the next time we go to the 'you know where' she can ride on the 'c-a-r-o-u-s-e-l'" and I spelled carousel out. Natalya looked at Grandma and said, "you know Grandma, the carousel!

Today Natalya spelled CAT all by herself. Mommy, This is a C. Cat starts with C. Then I asked her what the nest letter was, we sounded it out and she said "a" then did the same with "t".

And just now, she saw a little icon that said " I *heart* U" (the shape of a heart) and she said, "Mommy! That says "I heart U!" I told her that sometimes the heart means "love" and she said, "I love you!"

Man. I'm in trouble.

And... my Walgreens haul

1 Pantene Beautiful Lengths shampoo
1 Pantene Beautiful Lengths conditioner
1 Pantene hairspray
2 Garnier Fructis shampoos
2 Garnier Fructis Conditioners
2 Garnier Fructis hairsprays
9 Colgate Maxfresh toothpastes
1 Colgate Maxfresh toothbrush
2 Glade Candles (wanted more, but they were out of them)
2 Softsoaps

Total oop: 19.04 (including our ridiculous 9.25% sales tax)
Total saved: 69.11

Mail-in-rebates coming back to me: $17
Total after rebates: $2.04

CVS this week

Here's my CVS haul for the week

1 Aleve Cold and Sinus 10 ct
4 Glade Air Fresheners
4 Purex laundry detergents
1 Dove deodorant
2 Revlon nail polishes
4 twin packs schick disposable razors
2 Covergirl Wetslicks Amazement lip gloss (these are soooo yummy!!)
1 Covergirl eyeshadow
2 Ragu spaghetti sauce
1 Skippy pnut butter
4 XL Hershey bars
1 Excedrin Extra Strength 20 ct
1 Dimetap Cough and Chest Congestion

for the grand total of $13.81; Saved $85.98 and I have $5.99 ecb's for next week.

I got thrown off by them not having enough spaghetti sauce for my scenario, then by the new cashier who was telling me something about one of my coupons that didn't make sense, and I added the candy bars b/c, well, I'm pregnant and they had ECB's! And I added the dimetapp b/c it was on clearance and I had a coupon...so, if I hadn't made my mistake and added those items, I would've only spent about $7. (only about a buck including my ecb's) oh well. Still not bad.

The email I got today tells me that my little one is piling on the weight and chubby rolls at 33 weeks, and we got to see some of those rolls today on u/s. :) We also got to see him sucking and swallowing, watching his tongue motions and watching him breathing. He again had his face pressed into my placenta so no 3d pics for doug yet. Hopefully next week he will decide to show his face a little better.
Everything looks great! Mavis (my midwife) and I talked about plans as we get further along, and she said we could think about stripping my membranes at 38/39/40 weeks to help things move a little faster since we would like for him to not stay in too long b/c of my clotting disorder...and because I do NOT want to be induced. SO that will probably be the plan.
Z and I are still discussing his arrival, and how he needs to vacate earlier than originally planned. I think he's listening.

Meanwhile, the shower is planned for next Saturday and hopefully all our family and friends will be able to make it. We are thrilled to be able to celebrate his arrival and his life. :)

More thriftiness

Wal-Mart is having a nationwide annual clearance. Savings abound in different departments and every store is different but word on the street is that after a few weeks now, the housewares/furnitures, etc departments are on their final markdowns of 90-95% off, I know positively that lots of people have gotten kids bedding sets for several dollars. Get super cheap sheets, furniture etc!!

Love cloth diapering like me? Go check out An Ordinary Life blog and enter to win a $50 FB gift certificate. :) http://www.aordinarylife.com/2008/09/maternity-week-getting-ready-for-baby.html

What being thrifty has taught me.

Since I've gotten on the thrifty/ coupon-clipping wagon, there's a few things I have discovered.
1) Never, EVER pay full price for toothpaste, toothbrushes, cereal, shampoo, conditioner or granola/protein bars.
2) Every store has a deal somewhere, you just have to look. They want to get you in the door with the deal, then hope you spend lots of money on the other full-priced items.

CVS haul for today

Pretty decent- not too great, but I didn't have any ECBs to roll over this week.
Total out of pocket this week: $6.19, Total saved: $24.55, And I have $5.99 ECBs to use for next week

2 packs 22-count Carefree pantiliners
2 bags Chex mix
4 packs Schick disposable razors
2 Right Guard Extreme Invisible Gel for Men
1 L'Oreal Skin Genesis Cleanser
1 CVS toothbrush

32 weeks and counting

Today I am at 32 weeks. I can't believe I've only got two months to go! We had our typical appointment today. Natalya and Doug were along for the ride and got to see the baby on ultrasound. No 3D today b/c he had his face buried in my uterus, so you wouldn't have seen much but an ear maybe. He is measuring right on- everyhting measuring 32+ weeks and belly and head measuring 33+ weeks (normal she says). And the crazy thing? She pointed out that you could see his hair floating around in the fluid! She said, wow, he's got a lot of hair! (and still two months to go!)
He weighs in at 4lb 7oz (give or take, these are not very accurate), so gaining steadily. Everything still looks good, so we're thrilled to pieces!

Tonight we went to see Disney on ice - Worlds of Fantasy, and natalya had a blast. She loved watching the skaters and really enjoyed the Lion King and Fairies segments. We had great seats and had gotten them 50% off b/c it was opening night too! Can't beat that!

I love it when they pay you to shop there. :)

I went and did a few of my shopping trips today and hit Walgreens and Target.

Walgreens
3 tylenol pm 20-count
3 Robitussin DM Cough
2 Oust
2 Duracell 9v
3 small bags m&ms

Total before coupons and deals: $48.94
Total out of pocket (including .0925% tax): $5.46
and I earned $10 in register rewards (money to be used toward another purchase), so...grand Total: -$4.64

Target
3 Kashi granola bars
1 Kashi cereal
3 5-packs 70 count college-ruled spiral bound notebooks
2 10-packs pens
1 5-pack scotch tape
1 travel sized bottle Renu eye drops for contacts

Total out of pocket: $11.65 (including tax)
and I earned a $5 Target gift card (special this week, buy 4 kashi items and get a $5 gc)

So today I spent $17.11, and I got a $5 Target gift card and $10 rr's to use at walgreens

I had my 31-week appointment today, and the ultrasound was so awesome. Amanda went with me (she had never seen an u/s before) and was really excited about it, so the tech was showing her all his fingers, toes, etc. She had the doppler on the bottom of his foot and right as she said, there's one foot, he reared back and kicked the doppler, which bounced off my tummy. It was so funny!

Then she did some 3D stuff!! She let me have a few pics, and we got to watch him moving around, swallowing, etc, in 3D. It was really, really cool. And Doug was extremely upset that he missed it.



The tech kept saying that everything looked wonderful. Heart looks perfect, brain, etc and so on. YAY!

We love that everything is looking right on target! He is now head-down again, and probably will stay that way, so that's good. The u/s pics are really cool- unfortunately he was smushed against my cervix, so it only shows like half his face. But they're still really neat. :)

CVS deal for the week

I did my CVS shopping today- changed around my original scenarios for some other deals, but they didn't have a few of the things so I had to re-work all my numbers on the fly and made a few rookie mistakes. I think I could have saved an additional $9.90, but I still did pretty good. :)

Here's what I got for $16.34 (saved $130):


(not pictured, one Dawn Hand Renewal and one 24-count tylenol extra-strength)

3 Dawn orange antibacterials
3 Dawn Hand Renewals
3 Pantene shampoos
2 Pantene conditioners
2 Pantene hairsprays
2 twin packs Off Family-care
4 packs Skittles
2 Colgate Total Advanced
1 Cascade
2 Covergirl Outlast Lip Color
2 24-count Tylenol Extra Strength
4 twin-packs Schick disposable razors
2 Covergirl Wetslicks Amazemint

My son has the hiccups. A LOT.

I guess when I was pregnant with Natalya I never realized what this feeling is. But ever since last week, when I had the epiphany that the weird rythmic thumping I am feeling is him having the hiccups, I have noticed it a lot more often. I guess it makes sense since he is now swallowing more frequently, but it's weird. And a little annoying. But at least it is a reasurrance. :)

Doug adds that it feels like a heartbeat. except in my very lower pelvis.

It is the weirdest feeling!

CVS Bargains

So I am trying this CVS thing out. :) Last week I did alright for my first week's attempt, I think I spent $15 and saved $48

This is my plan for this week...assuming they have everything I want by the time I get there (the last day of the sale, Thursday)

Transaction 1:
dawn dish soap .99
dawn dish soap .99
colgate 2.99
colgate 2.99
Covergirl WetSlicks Amazemint 5.99
Covergirl WetSlicks Amazemint 5.99
Pringles .88
- - -
Total: 20.82 +tax

Coupons to use:
$4 off $20 purchase
dawn dish soap .50
dawn dish soap .50
colgate 1.50
colgate 1.50
covergirl $1 any
Cover Girl Lip Product B1G1F (-5.99)
Pringles .30
$5 ECB (from last week's purchases)
- - -
Total coupon discount: -$20.29

Total Out of Pocket: 53 cents +tax

And, Earned: $9.99 ECB


Transaction 2:
pantene shampoo $3.33
pantene shampoo $3.33
pantene hairspray $3.33
Children’s Advil $5.79
Pringles .88
- - -
Purchase Total: 16.66 +tax

Use: $2/10
pantene manufacturer coupon style prod free w/shampoo $3.33
Children’s Advil coupon $1
Pringles .30
$9.99 ECB
- - -
Coupon total -$16.62

Total out of pocket for purchase: 4 cents +tax

Earned: $7.79 ECB

Transaction 3:
Playskool wipes $2.99
Playskool wipes $2.99
Cascade $3.49
Tylenol $4.99
Tylenol $4.99
- - -
Purcahse Total: 19.45 +tax

Use: $2/10
Playskool coupon $2
Playskool coupon $2
Cascade $.25
Tylenol B1G1 (-$4.99)
Tylenol coupon $1
$7.79 ECB
- - -
Coupon total for purchase: -$20.03

Total out of pocket: -58 cents +tax


Total Out of pocket for all three purchases: $-.01 +tax

30 weeks along!

I went in today for my 30 week appts. First we went to the place where they do ultrasounds and had that done. :) (I got reprimanded for not having a full bladder. I told her if I hadn't gone to the bathroom before I laid down there would have been an accident. :D )

He looks really good. We got to see all his parts and everything looks great. When she was measuring everything she measured his head and said "now don't tell your mama your head is THAT big, let's do that again". I laughed and said, "well, I wouldn't be surprised." She asked me if my daughter's head was big and I said "ohhhh yes". She said "well maybe it is that big then!" and yes, his head is huge! (greeeat)

We also got to see the heart beating and she was so happy with the perfect view of his little heart we watched it for a bit, and also saw him breathing (well, making breathing motions). She said that at 30 weeks is when you should start seeing breathing actions. It was really cool to see him 'breathing'. :) She said he's about 3lb 7oz (49%tile), perfectly average. (of course we know how those guesstimates are. Give or take a pound and a half)

Then we went over to the office for the NST. That was fine. They just hooked me up to the monitors and I relaxed for 20 minutes and he sounded great. Moving like crazy. As if I didn't know that. ;) Got to hear his heart beating. That is the most comforting sound in the world.

Then they drew blood to check my platelets. They want to make sure that my blood doesn't get too thin while I'm on the heparin, so we'll be keeping an eye on it.

Next appointment is next week and at that point I will have passed the date that we lost Margaret, so hopefully I will be feeling better (more comfortable) by then. I am also having a check-in with the Maternal Fetal Specialist that has been keeping an eye on my chart. Just to check in with her.

:)

Win a CVS giftcard and enter to win a Couponizer!

Enter here to win a CVS $25 giftcard. :)
Free money is always good, right??

http://newlyweds.wordpress.com/2008/08/19/25-cvs-giftcard-giveaway/

And...go here to win a couponizer- any good coupon clipper needs one. :)
http://frugalmommyof2girls.blogspot.com/2008/08/enter-to-win-couponizer.html

Injection update

Yahoo! The heparin has been approved. :) So much cheaper than the lovenox! I am on day 5 of the injections and they're not too terribly bad. The bruises are no fun- I have a humongous one on my right leg, but I discovered yesterday that if I ice-down the injection site for about 30 minues after the injection, it prevents the majority of the bruising, so I will continue to do that.

I also found out some side issues regarding the disorder, which is technically a mutation in the human MTHFR gene A1298C, one allele, which is that I will have to continue to take mega-high doses of folic acid for the rest of my life b/c my body doesn't process folic acid properly, in addition, I will take one baby aspirin a day, and should I ever have to have surgery of ANY kind, I will probably have to do heparin injections after the surgery to prevent thromboembylism (a clot forming and making its way into lungs/heart or brain.) I also won't be able to take any kind of estrogen therapy, like oral contraceptives or medicines for menopause when I get older.

This particular mutation is known for causing third trimester stillbirth, rather than miscarriage early on in pregnancy. The likelihood that this caused M's loss? Very high.

Got a call from my midwife

whom I absolutely love, in case I haven't mentioned. ;)

She said she had the resident OB (the one who works with the midwives, mostly as a "name" for insurance purposes, since most ins. companies don't accept midwives) take a look at my file, along with the medical records, as well as a maternal fetal specialist. She said that originally, when they looked at my labs (that whole series of labwork they did back in the beginning, every blood test known to man), they didn't see anything that was abnormal, but when taken with all my medical history, there was some concern with a couple of things. One was an abnormal alleal. Normally, you would need two alleals to have this particular clotting disorder, and normal people have none. I have one. This means I am borderline for the disorder, which was the one the first midwife was concerned about to begin with. There was also another "borderline" factor that raised a red flag for the specialist when taken in consideration with everything else.

At any rate, she recommended I begin being treated for the clotting disorder to prevent any problems that could occur. She said there is no way to know if it would cause a problem, or to know if this is what caused M's death, but the benefits far outweigh the risks. I am to start taking a baby aspirin a day, an increased doseage of folic acid each day (a prescription) and also doing self injections to treat the clotting disorder. Of course, 25 doses of the injections is going to cost me $300 ($1800 before insurance ) but I'll figure out something b/c it's not something I am not going to do. I am hoping she will tell me they want me to do one injection a day, and not two, she is supposed to let me know tomorrow. (at two a day, 25 will not even last two weeks, and I've got about 9-10 weeks to go!)

Anyway, I am thrilled that she is being so proactive and I don't mind the injections at all. I am to go into the office in a couple of days to have them show me how to do them, either tomorrow or Friday.

Now to find an additional source of income...to pay for them!!

28-week appointment

Everything looks great! Natalya and my grandmother went with me. (Doug had to work) I am measuring 28.5 weeks and the hb was 145-148, so really good. I was 172 (so down a couple of pounds? but no one comented on it) and my blood pressure was great. I gave her my medical records from M's birth and she said, "so a little light reading before bed?" and laughed, I did too. It's like 100 pages, mostly handwritten and difficult to decipher. She said, "I don't think I'll read this right now" I said, "no, I didn't think so!" hehe.
She said she reviewed the plan and she thinks we are on track. She said she knows with the 31 week mark coming up I'll probably have some anxiety, so feel free to call for anything.

I go back in two weeks for my next visit. I will also have a Biophysical Profile (BPP a.k.a. ultrasound) and then to the office for a NST. I will then go weekly and continue to have the BPPs and NSTs until he is born.

The funny part was- after se wrote up the plan and I left, I went to the front to have the secretary-person make my appointments. She questioned having botht the BPP and the NSt on the same day. She said usually, they do them on alternate days, like you'd go have a BPP and then two days later come back for an NST. She called back to Mavis and Mavis apparently set her straight (ha!). She said, that's just weird, I've never seen that done before. Well, there's a first time for everything right? So then, the mw nurse comes up and says, "we don't do BPPs and NSTs on the same day" and the sec. said, "That's what I said, talk to Mavis about it".
[side note, Mavis is the HEAD of the midwifery department at Vanderbilt University, and teaches/does research four days a week and sees patients one day a week, this is why I was recommended to her and why I decided to continue as her patient. Plus I think she's awesome!]
Jeanette (the nurse) said, "well since she may as well be 'Dr.Schorn' whatever she says goes." and kind of laughed. LOL. Mavis is not a Dr, but I guess she is well-respected enough that her decisions are not questioned. And I love her to death.

So that's the plan. She said she also forwarded all my info to the OB they work with and he agreed with the plan she had set up 100%.

I feel really good about how everything is going, and since Zachary is kicking the daylights out of me constantly, that's good too.

I know that something could technically still happen, but at least we're keeping track of every nook and cranny, so if something out of the ordinary does show up, then we will be able to resolve it right away.

job hunt

Please send get-a-part-time-job vibes to me. That is all. Thank you.

i it possible? could it be?

I was afraid to even say anything for fear of jinxng it, but I think N is ready to start going to sleep by herself!!! And it couldn't have happened soon enough as I'm going to have another one eating up my sleep time soon.

For years I had to lay down in bed with her so she would go to sleep. This was up from her nursing herself to sleep. We gradually shifted over to me sitting at the foot of her bed while she fell asleep, then I would sneak out. The other night, she woke up at 4:30am and came ot get me.Normally this would entail me sitting in her room for 20 minutes to one hour, but after a few minutes, I had to go to the bathroom (big surprise), so I got up and quietly opened the door. Instead of sitting bolt upright in bed and freaking out, she quietly said, "Mommy? Where are you going?" To which I whispered, I have to go to the bathroom, then I'm going to bed. She said, "ok"

Now, I have tried this before, and she would show up in my room about 10 minutes later crying and wanting me to come back, but this time...she didn't! She woke me up around 8:30am.

So... the past four-five nights, I have been sitting in her room for a few minutes then getting up, and if she says something, usually "mommy?" I would say, "Good night Natalya. I love you" to which she replies, "I love you too" and then I leave.

No crying.
No whining.
No yelling.
No in and out of the room for hours.
No showing up in my room just as I've gotten comfortable and waking me up.

Just...sleep!! Soon I will make the leap to kissing her goodnight then leaving the room right away, but for now, I'll take this. :D

YAHOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We love free things to do!

Today we went to the museum here in Clarksville. When I was getting my teeth cleaned, the hygenist told me about free Sundays at the museum. Awesome.

The bottom floor is the "Explorer Room" and it's all kid oriented. A huge room of trains, the small scale and large scale trains, really really cool! Natalya loved the trains. There was also several tables of things like legos and blocks. They also have a Thomas train table and trains and she played with that for a long while until some other kids came and played and then she decided she was done.

There's also rooms that are set up like the late 19th century and early 10th century- a home, a mercantile (old-fashioned dresses and shoes), a printing press/newspaper, and old "cars", horse-drawn buggies, an old fire engine, even a horse-drawn hearse! Really neat!

They also have a room where you can make big huge bubbles and then a "grocery store". They had little kid-sized shopping carts and lots of "food" to buy, empty boxes and plastic produce. She spent at least thirty minutes shopping. She absolutely loved choosing groceries to put in her cart and then checking out at the checkout line. :)

I wonder if I can buy a kid-sized shopping cart? hmmm...must look into for Christmas. I will have to remember this as something to do with her when we need somewhere to go that is air-conditioned/heated in extreme weather. :)

We didn't make it into the real artwork part of the museum, since we got there kind of late, so that will be next time.

Fun at the park

painted toenails

Natalya saw painted toenails somewhere and has been asking for me to paint her toenails so I finally did. She is obsessed with them! She shows them to everyone. Yesterday she had a make-up gymnastics class and it was her and two little boys. While one boy was on the balance beam, I saw the her talking to the other one, he then leaned over, bent double (they were sitting next to one another on a bench) and got about two inches from her feet, obviously observing her painted toenails. ;)

Then when the other little boy came back, she was talking to him, then propped both legs on the bench so he could check them out too while she pointed her toes toward him. You can't hear what they're saying (you can watch through windows, but the doors are closed), but she was obviously telling them all about her toenails. LOL!

I have never laughed so hard.

25 weeks already?

Can it be? Am I over halfway there already? The answer apparently, is yes. :)

Yesterday I had my 25 week appointment with the midwife and everything looks good. Baby's hb loud and clear and around 140-142. Measuring good. She said, he's really growing in there huh? LOL. I said yep, I grow 'em big. My bp is so far so good, so good news there.

I drank the nasty glucose crap. Blech. They only had the lemon-lime flavor cold. I would have much preferred the orange, but oh well. We talked about the plan, and she is going to write up a plan of attack, so to speak for the remainder of my pregnancy. I go back in three weeks for a regular visit, hb, measurement, etc. Then I go in two more weeks, at 30 weeks, for an u/s and non-stress test, along with some other things. After that I will go weekly for ns tests and then have a few more u/s's.

We talked a bit about the "weird" things surrounding m's birth, the large amt of amniotic fluid and the dark meconium staining, but the fact that everything was "normal" according to autopsy and pathology reports. She wants to kind of keep an eye on things, and I'm all for it.

She wasn't too concerned about the spotting I had last weekend, said it was pretty common as you have more pregnancies, sometimes you can have some blood on your cervix that comes out and it's no big deal. *whew*

I'm really feeling good about my mw and everything she has planned. I also told her that N wanted to be at the birth and she said that was totally fine. I told her my Mom was going to be there for her to totally just take care of her and be there for her and she said that was great. We also talked a smidge about my birth plan and I told her we had the one from N and that I would update it and bring it in next time.

Oh, and I'm up to 172lb. Yay. That's a gain of around 17lb so far (awesome for me).

And ironically, I saw my cousin, who I haven't seen in ages, the one who's due around the same time as me and they've changed her due date. I am due the 6th of Nov and she is now due the 5th. HA! Wouldn't it be funny if we were in labor at the same time? We're delivering at different hospitals though, but still funny.

Natalya's first dentist appt

Today Natalya had her first dentist's appointment. She was such a big girl! I couldn't believe how well she did. The dentist's office is a pediatric dentist, and N has never been to the dentist before, but we prepped her several weeks ago talking about going to the dentist and how much fun it was, and how exciting, and how the dentist would make her teeth pretty and shiny. She was really looking forward to "going to the dentist and saying 'ahhh" :)

The way the office works is the first visit, you can go back with your child, but after that, they want to take them back on their own, to build a relationship with them. So I was allowed to go back with her. She was very nervous, as always, but she didn't need me there. :) The office is completely designed for children. TV's on the ceilings above the chairs, video games and toys in the waiting room, the bathroom even has a kid's size toilet (complete with an automatic flusher just like the big one) along with a regular sized one, and a kid-height sink along with a regular height sink. (she was so impressed by this, after her first visit to the bathroom, she kept saying she had to go so she could go back in there and sit on the little potty.

So the dental assistants were all very trained in kid-friendly techniques and N did awesome. They started out asking her what she wanted to watch on tv (Alvin and the Chpmunks) and then she got to pick her polish flavor (bubble-gum) and her flouride flavor (orange). The asst. showed her how to brush her teeth (while she held a mirror to watch) and then how to floss. Then she put headphones on her (for the movie) and polshed her teeth. She did great. She opened wide, closed her lips when it was time to drain the water out and did everything they said. When the dentist came in, she said that her teeth looked great. Said that the way her bite is (like Doug's), indicates crowding when her permanent teeth come in, so there are more than likely braces in her future (not a terrible surprise since Doug and I both had braces). Not a concern now, but somethign to watch out for as she gets older.

She has an appointment in 6 months for a checkup. She got a balloon and a 'kids-eat-free' coupon for O'Charley's for having no caivities. :)

I can't believe how big she is!!

Natalya's 3-yr check-up

N had her three-yr appt today. All is great. Dr said she is very healthy, looks wonderful and over-all great.

She is 38.5" tall and 33lb. Dr said she's a little over 80% for height and weight is right on for her height. I said it was funny b/c I am 5'3 and Doug is 5'10, and N is so TALL. She did a double-take and said, that is odd. I said but she was tall when she was born, 21.5". She said, oh, ok, so she has always been tall, then she's growing along the curve so no worries. :)

We talked more about the yeast. I'm going to continue the diflucan for another week and hopefully that will knock it out. She's been prescribed it before, but the duration was 7 days. This time she wants to do the full two weeks. (we're on a week today). Fingers crossed.

She also did a glucose test (checking for diabetes, b/c the yeast issues are a sign of juvenile type 1 diabetes) and an iron check. All looked good. Yay! My little vegetarian is getting plenty of iron and her sugar level was great, so no diabetes worry. *whew*

Pregnancy #3

I feel weird this pregnancy. I know it's because of our loss, but with natalya, I was excited, nervous, had some trepidation...all of that. But I always pictured holding a baby at the end of the long pregnancy process.

With margaret, we were worried, a little stressed, but happy and excited that N would have a little brother or sister. I pictured giving birth to the baby in the water and holding a newborn in my arms with Doug by my side and Natalya looking at her new baby brither/sister.

This time, I can't picture it. In my head I guess I am remembering that the last time, the only way I experienced my child was while she was inside my body. There was no...outside, holding her squirming little body. I am having a really hard time visualizing holding a breathing, living baby.

It's strange. Understandable, I suppose, but strange. This occurred to me last night. I am trying to change my mental pictures but it's really, really hard.

Out of the mouths...

Conversations from yesterday

1)
Natalya: Mommy where are we going?
Me: to the lake to take pictures and feed the geese
N: where are the geese?
Me: at the lake
N: but where are the geese mommy
Me: at the lake
[pause]
N: where are the geese mommy?
Me: Natalya, I said, they're at the lake.
N: oh. My mistake.

2)
Doug: do you think this lettuce is bad? [shows me bag of lettuce, a little brown]
Me: yuk.
Me: [to Natalya] More people should've eaten salads at your birthday party Natalya.
N: what'd you say Mom?
Me: More people should've eaten salads at your birthday party.
N: What?
Me: Can't you hear me? I'm sitting three inches away. I said, more people should've eaten salads at your party.
N: I didn't hear you, say it right in my ear [points to her ear with her fork]

Natalya's officially 3 years old!

I cannot believe it. My firstborn is three years old. Is that even possible??? How did that happen so quickly?

She is so independent. She mostly wants to be left alone to do her own thing, much like her daddy at her age. She likes playing with other children, but at home when it is just she and I, she will often be off doing her own thing. Like now, she is sitting on the floor with a horse/carriage and putting a duck in it, the duck and horse are having a conversation which sounds something like this: "quack quack" "oh little horse, I know" etc etc...

She is generous and kind and polite. She will share whatever she has with you, will go and get things for you when you ask, will offer help when you're doing (anything), always says please, thank you and you're welcome. And she loves babies. Absolutely loves them. Whenever we see her friend Mady and her brother Ethan (who is one), she is so good with him. Sweet and helpful. I just know she's going to be a wonderful big sister.

She is athletic! Man! She loves to climb and jump and loves her gymnastics classes and any time we go swimming, she has an absolute ball. We have these two poles, about 7-8 feet tall in our basement that are for structural support for the upper level of the house, and she can climb them, bottom to top, with her bare hands and feet- insane! Her upper body strength is ridiculous. All her gymnastics instructors have always said she is incredibly strong for her age, both upper body and legs. She has a lot of power in that little compact body. And as for swimming- she is getting so good! When we go, she wears those arm floaties and she will lean forward, putting her face in the water, and laying flat/floating on her tummy and swim across the pool! She has started doing this on her own accord, without any prompting from me (but lots of kudos! ;)

I just can't believe how big she is. She has her three-year old annual appointment on Thursday, but I believe she is around 33 pounds and nearly 38 inches tall.

Her birthday party was on Sunday afternoon and she had so much fun. Her great-grandparents were all in attendance, and my parents (her grandparents) as well as her uncle (my brother) and her friends Mady and Ethan and their parents. She had so much fun seeing everyone and playing with Mady. She told me that morning that "all my people are coming over today". Three years old, and she's already got people. :D

It goes by so fast. I am just trying to remember every minute of it.

Spreading Margaret's ashes

Upper Falls

We went last weekend to go scatter Margaret's ashes at a waterfall that I used to go to a lot with our youth group when I was in High School. It is a truly gorgeous area (just about three hours from us) and I thought it would be the perfect spot. There's an upper falls and a lower falls which drops about 4-5 stories into a swimming area. We ended up releasing the ashes over the upper falls because we couldn't get to the top of the lower falls because the rocks were too slippery as it had been raining.
I have never been there when there weren't other people there, but that day, we were the only ones. It was amazing. And perfect. We had a great day, scattered her ashes, and then went and enjoyed the outdoors, played in the water and swam in the pool under the large falls (I don't have a pic of them b/c it was sprinkling a little and I didn't want to get my camera out.)

Unfortunately, it is a bit of a hike down...and back up! I was exhausted. But it was worth it.

It was also neat because the weather had been lovely, cool and pleasant, a bit overcast, but we missed all the rain. We scattered her ashes, then hiked down to the bottom falls. When we got down there, right as we got down there, it started sprinkling. Then a few minutes later, it stopped and the sun came out. It was as if she was telling us goodbye. That was the only rain we had the whole day.



Natalya enjoys a ride back up on daddy's back. I wish I had one of these that I could ride in!

Fun in the water

We have been hanging out one or two days a week with some friends at her mom's pool and Natalya is having a blast. Even getting a little tan, despite the 70 sunblock. :)
She's swimming really well, and I credit the older kids because she wants to be like them. She will go in the water by herself, wearing her floaties, and swim around, even so far as with her face underwater and swimming halfway across the pool! I am so proud of her.

A conversation with my daughter

Me: Natalya, your birthday is coming up, what would you like for your birthday?
N: (thinking)... a cake!
Me: ok, got it, a cake. What else would you like?
N: a chocolate cake!
Me: ok honey, but on your birthday you get presents. What kind of presents would you like?
N: pink ones!
Me: (giggling) Ok, pink wrapping paper, but what do you want in the paper, what kinds of things do you think you'd like to get?
N: [thinking and not sure}
Me: you know, like you got a tricycle and a doll last year on your birthday? What would you like this year?
N: a tricycle and a doll!
Me: [laughing] honey, you got that last year. what would you like this year?
N: Santa Claus brings me presents.
Me: yes! Exactly, like at Christmas you opened presents, like your camera you got. What kinds of things would you like to open this year?
N: a camera!
Me: no, you already have a camera [laughing harder]. I tell you what, you think about it and get back to me.
N: ok Mommy.

My little girl's growing up

*sniff*

We've had some crazy days lately of mostly me trying to figure out the best way to get the sleep schedule under control. Suddenly she doesn't want to nap, but she wants to get up at 6am.

So today we went swimming at a friend's house- more about that later- and after getting up at 6am and swimming for four hours and getting home a little after 4pm, no nap, she was exhausted. She also has a rash of some sort- contact allergy- so I was supposed ot give her some benadryl before bed.

By 6:15pm I was reading her a book and putting her to bed. Lights out by 6:30pm and she was sound asleep in under a minute. Poor thing.

So later on, I was downstairs watching tv and Doug was asleep in our bedroom. I hear a click and then I thought I heard "Mommy". I went upstairs and heard the potty seat being lifted and then as I waslked in (in the total darkness) she was peeing. I was amazed. Sometimes she will wake up and have to go potty and I told her a few times that she doesn't need to turn the light on, that she can see fine since her eyes are adjusted to the dark. But I always help her, putting her on the seat and such. Not this time. When I didn't respond, she went on in our bathroom and went by herself. *sniff* she's getting so grown up!

I wiped her and told her to pull her pants up and then handed her "lamby" a stuffed lamb that she was sleeping with, and then we went back in her room. She lay down and I gave her a big kiss and told her how proud I was of her that she had gone to the bathroom all by herself. She said "thank you mommy".

Then she was back asleep in under a few minutes.

I can't believe it. No accidents. Even as tired as she was, and on the benadryl (which knocks her out), she woke up and went to the bathroom all by herself.

Water parks

So yesterday Doug's company had their annual company picnic at a nearby waterbpark. We had told Natalya that we would be going to the waterpark (though she didn't have a clue what that was, I guess it sounded fun). :) So yesterday, she wakes up at 6am and says, Mommy, get up we have to go to the waterpark! *ugh*

We did go, left the house around 11am and she of course, fell asleep on the way there. :) She had a blast thought. She swam like a fish with her floaties and even went down the massive slide with Daddy. I think she was waterlogged because she had a hard time sleeping last night! We asked her what her favorite thing was and she replied, "the water". :) She also loved the "beach". The park is on a lake and they have a sand beach in one place where you can get in the water and play. She absolutely loved the sand. I can't even guess how much sand I later cleaned out of her swimsuit and her body's cracks and crevices. Maybe I can find the closest ocean beach to us (S.Carolina? N/Carolina?) and we can go. I think she would love that.

It was hot, there were a TON of people, and the food was not vegetarian friendly, so we ate a lot of chips and cookies, but we had fun regardless. (Come to think of it, maybe it was all the chips and cookies that made her have a hard time sleeping ;)

Ultrasound pics

Here are a few of the ultrasound pics from yesterday's session. hey are kind of blurry b/c he was moving a lot! Enjoy :)

A profile shot


A profile shot


His feet


And here's the proof- a BOY!


Wait, couldn't you see it? Ok, here you go...with notes. :)

The results are in

And it's a boy! Natalya is thrilled to be having a little brother! She was dancing around the ultrasound room saying "I'm having a brother - YAY!" It was so darn cute. Everything looks great with him. He's measuring right on at 20 weeks and everything looks great. The best part? Seeing his heart beating. :)

Today I am thankful for

my beautiful, precocious, brilliant, stubborn daughter. For the laughter and joy she brings to my life. For the moments that I am amazed at her wit and comprehension of things.

Doug's job. For being home every night and two days a week. For having GOOD insurance (thank you large corporation).

my health and the health of little bean. I am feeling thumps and flutters pretty regularly now, several times a day at least, and can't wait until Monday when I can see him/her again and hear the heartbeat.

the roof over my head and

air conditioning. Thank you inventor of air conditioning. If it didn't exist, I'd be living in Yellowknife Canada or Tongue Scotland.

Natalya's birthday theme

Natalya tells us she wants fairies for her birthday, Tinkerbell to be exact. She is obsessed with Tinkerbell. In fact, she just informed me that "one day I'm going to get a Tinkerbell tattoo". Really? :D

I won!

I should actually credit Doug for this.
I have been wanting to get another Freehand Mei Tai. I love them so much I want a back-up, but they recently were bought by another person/company so they've been out of circulation for a while since the old owner stopped making them a bit ago and the new owner is currently making them to sell.

Anyway, I checked in on their site Saturday and they're in the process of making them now to sell but they aren't currently selling them. Meanwhile, to celebrate, they were having a contest. Tell why your baby carrier helped you, or your favorite babywearing moments, etc.

I shared Doug's story and won!

The cool thing is that the contest was only through May and I entered it on May 31st at like 10:30pm. (although I think they are extending it for a few more months, I don't know if a FH will be the prize)

If anyone else wants to enter for this month, the website is: http://www.togetherbe.com/contestFre...iGiveAway.aspx

Here's my (doug's) story as it was posted:
Brandy, Clarksville
"My daughter is nearly three years old and we still wear her in her Freehand MT that we've had since she was a newborn. It has been a lifesaver for us for everything from housecleaning to outings where strollers aren't feasible. In the beginning though, my husband wore her most, nearly 75% of the day, as I worked full-time and he was a sahm Dad. One day I received a phone call from him at work and he informed me that he would no longer be wearing her without a shirt. My daughter, who had refused her bottle twice (nothing new) was fussing (nothing new) so he put her on and was washing dishes. Suddenly he got a shock as she latched on and sucked her heart out. My poor child was probably wondering why Mom's boobs were suddenly flat and hairy while my husband was thankful that I had recently showed him the proper de-latch technique. He appreciated me breastfeeding a lot more after that. "

Baby bean

Speaking of the little bean, I have my next appointment on June 16th and we will also have our ultrasound that day. If s/he is willing, we will find out the sex of the baby. And I honestly don't care. As long as I have a healthy baby in four-ish months, I don't care if it's a boy or girl.

New jobs and such

In case I haven't mentioned it here, Doug has a new job. He's home every night. *gasp* and two days a week off. *gasp*. It's almost like a real job! I am thrilled, Natalya is thrilled, little baby bean is thrilled (although admittedly, it's a little harder to tell).

Natalya keeps telling me, Mommy, I love it that my daddy's come home. And in the mornings, when she comes in and wakes me up, she says, Daddy's at work. He'll be home tonight. And then she grins.

He's working for Pepsi and as far as we can figure, will be working a lot of hours in the summer and less in the winter, since he's hourly that means save our money now so we can make it through the winter months, but you know what? We'll be fine. GREAT in fact. Because together we are more than we are alone.

Our growing girl

A fun pic from the Renaissance Festival with her Uncle Tony. :)

I've been thinking

about birth. Obviously, since it's in my near future. And therefore, I've been thinking about the two births I've experienced so far (of my own that is).

My oldest daughter's birth was planned natural, no meds, with a midwives group and a doula. I took hypnobirthing and planned for my mother and grandmother to be there along with my husband whom I could not do without. He drove me to the midwife's, and then the hospital when Iw asn't feeling well and then I was admitted and induced.

The whole event was unexpected as I was diagnosed with gestational hypertension and was induced nearly two weeks early to prevent preeclempsia. There went my dreams of a med-free birth. First cytotech, then pitocin, then all kinds of other things like a balloon, membrane stripping, water breaking and so on. My birth was long, hard, loud. There was moaning, groaning, some screaming and crying and a lot of random nurses in the room. My husband left my side for mere moments to catch a few winks while I napped between contractions after being given stadol for the pain but was there from the minute I waled in the hospital doors. I managed to avoid the epidural. Unfortunately, the stadol made me a bit loopy and I don't remember a lot of what happened after they gave it to me, until I really started pushing. I know I rocked, and swayed, and I know my wonderful husband spent a lot of time talking to me. I am surprised he didn't lose his voice since he was talking nonstop in my ear, working with me on hypno techniques. I remember crying through transition and saying I wanted her out. NOW. I remember my pulse monitor coming off and the midwives having worried looks (later found out my pulse shot up to 170), I remember pushing on my own as I felt the contractions coming on. I remember Doug sitting behind me and then during each contraction, literally pushing me up and holding me upright so I wasn't laying down and pushing against gravity. I remember the doula videotaping the birth, kneeling on the floor in front of me.

It was long. It was loud. It was draining. And afterward, I was tired. But elated. My body felt as though I'd been run over by a mack truck and every muscle was shaking. I held onto my newborn daughter and all those pains melted away.

After that experience, we decided to go with a homebirth for the second child. My second daughter's birth was even more unexpected. At nearly 31 weeks I suddenly realized I hadn't felt the baby move in a while. After a trip to the ER and learning that my baby had died, I was admitted and called Doug to have him come to the hospital. He was on the road. When I found out my baby died, two nurses and a doctor were with me. No family. No loved ones. The doctor held my hand and one nurse laid a gently hand on my leg. The other nurse cried while I broke down. I was taken to a room and a very sweet nurse offered to sit with me until my husband could arrive. I declined, preferring my own thoughts. She had tears in her eyes as she expressed her grief for me. She never sounded condescending.

I waited for my husband to call me and tell me he was in town and could not sleep. I waited in a mostly dark room while the head nurse checked on me periodically and we waited for the u/s tech to confirm the death. When she arrived, pushing in the machine, I asked her, please, if you can tell the baby's sex from the u/s, can you tell me. I do not know it, but would like to know before it is born, if possible. What was once a fun surprise was now just one more blow. She couldn't tell b/c the baby's legs were together. She left and I was alone.

The doctor and nurse came in and cytotech and cervadil were administered. I started contracting a little, and I walked down the hall to the nurses station to ask if I could take a shower. As I returned to my room and pushed it open, I noticed a postcard taped to my door of a falling leaf. A small subtle comment to all who entered that I had experienced a loss, and not to say anything stupid. All I could think was how perfect that image was. The card was added to a memory box I was later given to take home with other momentos of my daughter's death, footprints, a lock of hair and so forth.

My husband eventually arrived and I was contracting regularly, but din't want an epi b/c I was afraid that i would end up with a c/s due to how early I was. I was given stadol and fell asleep on and off. During this, Doug came and leaned on the bed between my legs, resting his face on my stomach. I can only think he was trying to remember that moment and the feel of the child within me before it was ripped away. I do not know if he knows I remember that since I was loopy on stadol.
I eventually asked for the epi because I was in too much pain. The epi helped and I was given a full epi. I could feel nothing from the waist down, except a constant pain in my back. I'm not sure why but it was almost unbearable.

Through the day Doug and I slept, me on the bed and he on the cot, on and off while nurses and doctors came and went. After a while, I sent him home to bring my daughter to me. I needed to hold my living, breathing child close to me and remember her. After the visit, he took her back to our home with my mom who had come to stay with her and then came back to me.

While he was gone, my blood pressure bottomed out and I nearly fainted. Alone. With only nurses. It was par for the course that day.
The worst moment was when a woman across the hall delivered and her brand new baby started crying. I could hear it. I wept. More than when I found out my child had died. Only the second time since that moment. But I ached. Everything ached.
Over the next hours, we slept. I awoke only to ask the nurses to rotate me from leaning on one side to the other because my back was hurting so badly. They came in and broke my water around 10pm or so b/c I wasn't progressing. At this point I didn't care if they performed a c/s. I just wanted it over.

A little before 1am I awoke and felt uncomfortable again. I paged the nurse and she checked me, saying the head was right there. She took her glove off, came by my side, taking my hand and asked if I was ready. The quiet of the room and the soft breathing of Doug sleeping was loud to my ears as I said simply, yes.

I asked her to wake my husband and she did, telling him that it was time. He came and stood next to me, taking my hand and the order began. I was lifted up toward the ceiling in the bed and the light shone on my nether parts. My feet were put up in stirrups, above me. I was on my back. The nurse again came to my side and asked if we were sure we wanted to see her before she was cleaned up, that she wouldn't look...normal. We said yes.

I was instructed to push, given the counts. After a few minutes, the baby arrived. It's a girl. She was laid in a bassinett and pushed to us. She was blue. Somehow I did not think she would be. She wasn't breathing, so of course, but I didn't expect my warm body to produce a child that color. We cried. They wheeled the bassinett near the door and placed a blanket over her. That was final. Then they pushed her out. Doug and I held each other and cried while I was stitched up. He then sat down b/c he was about to pass out from emotion. Everyone left and the nurse came back to clean me up while we waited for the baby, our daughter, Natalya's sister, to be returned to us.

When she was brought in, Doug picked her up and handed her to me. She was cold. I expected her to be warm, but she wasn't. She had been mostly cleaned and her skin was pink from the rubbing, but her temperature was cold. I geld her for a while, Doug held her for a while and then we called the nurse and said we were ready for them to take her. Doug hesitated when tucking her blanket around her. He looked at her face, then lifted the blanket over he face, then brought it back down. After another moment, he covered her face. I was glad he was the one to do it. It seemed right.

After taking our daughter away I was offered to be moved to a different floor, which I accepted, and Doug and I slept the rest of the time there. My back ached but I was not sore. Except for the obvious pain and the excrutiating pain in my back from the epi, I was not physically tired. I asked to be released as soon as possible. I did not want to be there any more.

Leaving the hospital, I waited in the wheelchair, wheeled out by an orderly, in the carport, for Doug to bring the car around. In front of me, a woman was holding her newborn, and her husband was pulling up in his car. I watched as they put the baby in the carseat and then she got in.

I felt emptier than I ever had.

The really amazing thing is how very different both births were. Natalya's was loud, chaotic, fuzzy (thanks to the stadol) and intense. Margaret's was quiet, calm, organized, yet I remember every single second. I now equate a loud chaotic birth to a good one. One that produces a living, breathing child. The quiet steele resolve of Margaret's birth felt similar to a funeral home to me. Appropriate I suppose.

We have movement - I think. ;)

I have been feeling little flutters and twinges for a couple of weeks now that I think might be baby, but I'm not totally sure. Last night though, I felt a pretty solid thump in the lower abdomen that I can't think might be anything but baby. Yay! I am thrilled to be at the feeling movement stage.

Natalya is getting more and more excited about the baby. She tells me, "Mommy, I love it when my baby comes". Silly goose. I tell her she's got a while to go before that happens, but I explained that she might be able to feel the baby moving around soon and she was very sxcited about that. She asks about the baby all the time and every time she sees someone that is not me or Doug, she informs them, "You know, the baby in Mommy's tummy is going to be a brother or a sister". Even if she's told them this a thousand times before. :) It's possible she's told my grandfather this at least 50 times.

My mother had the privelege of babysitting Natalya Friday night while Doug and I had a parent's getaway. We went to spend the night at the Opryland Hotel (super discount thanks to my Mom) and dinner at the Melting Pot, then Saturday went to go see Indiana jones and walked around the mall a little bit.
At any rate, my mom tells my yesterday that she thinks it's funny because Natalya is like me when I was a child, but more-so. For example, as a child, I always had adult mannerisms, but she says Natalya is like an extreme version of me. So where I had the adult mannerisms, N has them ten times more than I did.

Right now she is "talking" on her phone and she is talking to grandma (or so she tells me) and she is telling Grandma about her birthday cake that she is going to have and asked Grandma what kind of cake it should be and apparently Grandma told her chocolate. LOL! (I love her entire imagined conversations)

The other day she was doing something I told her not to do because I didn't want her to get hurt (can't remember what it was) and she fell. All of a sudden she hollars "I'M OKAY!" I couldn't even see her. I just heard her yell that. It was so funny.

With each day that passes I get more and more excited about having another baby. The fear of loss lessens and the excitement replaces it. I still am nervous, and expect I will be regardless, but it is nice to be excited for the child that is to come without being worried and obsessed about the child that is lost.

Updates and so sorry I've been away!

Hello all you readers (all one? two? of you) :D
I can't believe I've been absent from here so long. It's been, well, I don't know. I feel like I've been busy, but then I can't think what I've been doing. Taking care of a nearly-three year old? Gestating a 15-week-old? That's about it.

Natalya is hitting her stride lately. What a silly girl! Yesterday we went to the Motocross/Motorcycle store to take a gander/drool at some motorcycles and try to get a gameplan together for Doug's motorcycle. Natalya LOVES motorcycles. She was nothing but grins when we walked in.

We were leaving and she said, but Mommy, I thought Daddy was going to get a motorcycle (very upset). I said not today honey, we were just looking today.
She didn't totally get that "just looking" concept and kept asking about it. As we got nearer home, she said it again and Doug gave her this long spiel(as he does sometimes, messing with her) about how we were just looking today and that we can't just jump into things and make snap decisions, because we don't want him to kill himself on a motorcycle. We have to be smart and make little steps so we can make good decisions, blah blah blah.
After his several minute long speech, N thought about it for a second and said, But I like to take BIG steps!

OMG. Doug and I laughed so hard, we had tears streaming down our faces. What a girl, this one.

As for me, I'm good. I had a midiwfe appt on Monday and everything looks/sounds good. We got to hear the heartbeat. N's favorite part. She always runs around telling people, you know? the baby in mommy's tummy is going to be a brother or a sister.
I have an appt on June 16th as well as an ultrasound. That will be the day we find out the sex (if baby cooperates) and hopefully that everything is progressing nicely. The mw agreed that I will have some extra u/s's after about 26ish weeks just to keep an eye on fluid levels and other things, since we lost Margaret at nearly 31 weeks.

Doug starts his new job on Monday. Yahoo! We had a crazy, long, ridiculous weekend that I may talk about later, but the end story is that after 1200 miles on the road over the course of 3 days, we got his truck dropped off in Atlanta and he's completed his job with King Transportation/Werner. No more Big Trucks!! YAY!!

Sick, yuk, sick, blech

So I'm sorry for the very long delay in posts. We've been sick. Really sick. Remember the cough and sniffle Natalya had? Yeah, that developed into full blown sickness, and then I got it. And I still have it. I believe I have the flu though. I can't even get up my flight of steps without feeling like I am going to faint and all I've wanted to do it stay in bed all week.

a few of N's moments...

I heard honey was a good way to stop a stubborn cough- so I tried the honey trick and it worked. But N's never had honey before - maybe a taste, but not a whole spoonful. :)
One night last week she already had her cough med, but it hadn't kicked in yet and she was coughing and couldn't sleep. I went and got her some ice chips and a small teaspoon of honey and held out the spoon. She asked me what it was and I said it will make your throat feel better. She said, ok and opened up. In the light of her humidifier I saw her surprise. After she swallowed, she said, with some reverence, "what was that?"
I said "honey"
She said "Mommy, I LIKE honey."
then she thuoght for a minute, laid down and said "Mommy, I like honey VERY MUCH"

hehehehehe

I gave her a chunk of ice to suck on, and no more coughing after that.

Mommy, it's a "beee-beee"

Natalya says "baby" so cute. She pronounces it "bee-bee". Mommy, you've got a beebee in your tummy. I have a beebee in my tummy.
About said beebee. . . s/he is causing much morning sickness! I swear it gets worse each time.
I went today and had an ultrasound, more for my own sense of security after our loss than any other reason. Everything looked fine and I am measuring exactly what I said, 6 weeks 5 days, due November 6th.

Here's the little Baby Blob


Amanda went with me to help wrangle Natalya (which wasn't really that big of a deal since we were only there a few minutes, but just to be on the safe side). She only lives about two minutes from the imaging center, so she was happy to go. It is always neat to see the baby in utero, even when it's nothing more than a pulsating blob. :) And we did get to see the hearbeat pulsing. Very, very cool.

In other news, Natalya is getting sick. I don't know what she picked up or where she picked it up- could have been one of many places, but she's got a stuffy/runny nose and she feels warm. I also noticed her pulling an ear today and when I asked her if it hurt she said it did. I will withhold judgement on that until tomorrow and if it seems to be still bothering her, I'll take her to the dr.

Otherwise, we're doing good. :) Waiting and hoping for Doug to have some other job opportunities coming his way to get him home more often. We're all really tired of him being gone all the time. It's been a year of this, and we're ready for something different.

Snow Day

I forgot to post about our snow day! On last Wednesday, I think it was, we got about 2 inches of snow. We got a little the night before, and a tad bit of accumulation, then the next morning, it had melted away a little, then it started snowing again. Really coming down! About 2 inches fell in a couple of hours and Natalya and I took advantage of it and went out and played in it. :) Good thing we did too! It almost all melted away by 4 that evening.

Welcome to the South. :)

She loved it. Loved throwing snowballs at me. Loved running around in the white fluffy stuff. Loved trying to catch the snowflakes with her tongue hanging out. Loved it so much she didnt want to come in, even thugh her nose was running and her cheeks were red.

She's a snowbird just like her Daddy.

The Secret

Now that I know The Secret, I am thrilled to be testing it out.

I have always been very good at visualizing things, but I never thought to visualize things I want. Duh.

So I put it to work again yesterday, I started visualizing a few things, one of them, finding money. I wasn't specific (although you can bet I will be in the future!) and today I stopped at the car wash to vacuum out the nooks and crannies of the van that the dealership missed (old cheerios. yuk!) and looked down and found a folded up dollar bill. Exactly how I pictured it, folded in half, then in half again.

Ok, now i need to find a $100 bill and fold it so I know what one looks like (it's been a long time) so I can visualize THAT!!

Our new car :)

We went today and traded in our Element for an Odyssey! Yahoo!
AND.... we got a 2005! They didn't have anything newer than an '04, of which they had 4, before Saturday, and I kept checking, knowing we were gong today. I was using my The Secret powers, and visualizing an '05. And when I got online last night to look- an '05~!

I love it soooo much! It's got some really cool features, like window shades that are hidden in the doors you can pull up and attach, and a 6-disc changer. I do love the extra seat in the front, and the fact that I can take it out and scoot N closer to me (I always put her behind the passenger side).
I especially love the dual climate control. On the way home my side was set at 76 and Doug's side was set at 65. LOL!


Here's some pics from the dealer site. Natalya loves it too- after we FINALLY left the dealership, we went to get some food b/c we were all starving. We were eating and she said I'm all done, I want to go get in my new car. Aww!



Then, we just had our first crazy new car, learning curve, incident. LOL.

Natalya likes to play with the key fob, honk the horn, etc. I always try to steal it back and lock the doors, but am not always successful. And. It is raining.

N was playing with the fob and we hear horns honking. I think crap. What if she opened the sliding doors. To my shock and amazement, when I looked out of the garage, the doors were closed, but the windows were OPEN! And it was pouring!

I had no idea how she did it and the only way I knew to roll them up was to turn the car on. so I ran back to get my keys (upstairs) and back out to the car (in the rain, in my socks!) and started the car, rolling all windows up.

Ok, so, apparently if you press the unlock button, then do it again, but hold it down, it rolls the windows down. (there's no way to roll them back up on the fob though).

I would've never known this if she hadn't done it, then I figured out how she did it (manual anyone?) and b) I didn't even know the back windows rolled down! Cool, and LOL!!

:D

Luckily, nothing got TOO wet. Except for my socks. ;)

Natalya's first movie

Last night Natalya and I met Stephanie and Mady at the movie theatre for Natalya's first movie theatre experience. We went to go see Enchanted.
:)

What a blast. All day I was teeling her that we were going to go to the movies, and that once the movie came on she had to be quiet so as not to disturb anyone else in the theatre.
Periodically, I would ask her, are you excited to go see the movie? And she would say "YEAH!! Mommy, you have to be quiet in the movies". :) I also told her kind of what to expect, and that there would be animals, singing, and a big dragon. I didn't want her to be scared, so I was warning her. She said, "Mommy, I'm not scared of dragons".

We get there and it was cheap! It was a cheap theatre, and being that it wasn't a weekend, my ticket was $1.50 and she got in free because she's under three. I let her get a kids meal, popcorn, fruit snacks and water. She was so excited to have her own little box. She and Mady sat between Stephanie and I and I had to fold up my coat to put on the seat for N to sit on, because it was the flip up seats, and they were threatening to close on her and flip her up in them. Oops! Once we got that straightened out she was munching on her popcorn and then the lights went down, and the preview came on. She did not move. Her eyes were as big as saucers and she didn't even eat her popcorn. LOL! When the movie came on, I told her, it's coming on! She didn't even look at me- she was so enthralled.

After a while, I asked her if she was going to eat her popcorn and she started gingerly taking one piece and putting it in her mouth- without taking her eyes off the screen. :)
About halfway through the movie, Mady reached over to hold Natalya's hand and they held hands the rest of the movie. AWWWwwww! So cute! We did have one bathroom break toward the end. Then when the dragon came on, Natalya said, "Mommy, I'm not scared of dragons!" in a shaky voice. :)

She really had a good time, the movie was super cute, and I can't wait to take her to another one.

Natalya the songwriter

Natalya's new talent, creating songs.

On the way home from running our errands today, She made up a song that she called her "I miss my daddy" song. It went something like this:

I miss my Daddy
I want my Daddy to come home
I miss my Daddy
I want my Daddy to come home
I want my Daddy to come home
I miss Daddy doggie
I miss Daddy doggie
Daddy drives a big yellow truck
I miss yellow doggie Daddy


(whenever she is an animal, we are then "daddy doggie" and "mommy doggie" or kangaroo, or whatever animal she is, by default.)

HAHAHA!