Happy Halloween!

Natalya really enjoyed her first Trick or Treating experience. :) It was a little warm, but she loved being a kangaroo and everyone that saw her about died of sheer cuteness. :D

She wasn't too sure about knocking on a stranger's door, but then I instructed her to say "trick or treat", she said it, was rewarded with candy, and then there was no stopping her!

At one lady's house, (older lady) she gave Natalya some candy then said "Happy Halloween darling" and Natalya looked at her and said "Happy Halloween darling" it was so darn cute!

We only went out for a bit b/c N wanted me to start carrying her and that wasn't happening. She wasn't sure what to make of one Scream mask that had blood dripping from it (cool, but a little scary for the wee one). After we came home, I let her help hand out candy, and since we live on the corner of the first intersection in a neighborhood community we got a TON of kids. She had fun being the lookout (dragged her chair to the sidelight by the door and kept watch) and telling me when kids were coming. Silly girl! I actually ran out of candy and turned my light out at 8:00. The funniest thing was that you can see the snake cage from the front door and the snake was showing off for the kids, stretched out to his fullest potential along the branch, so some of the kids saw him and responded as such: "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh - A SNAKE!!!" I was laughing so hard.

A tale of Pooping

We were out running errands this past weekend and we went in Dollar General to look for something. (Don't remember what) While we were browsing, Natalya gave me a look and I asked her if she needed to go potty. She said "Yes mommy poo-poo in the potty" SO I looked down her diaper to make sure she hadn't already done so. Nope. SO we left (because you know there's not a public restroom at DG) and walked a few stores down, looking for one that might have a restroom she could use. I came across a little mom/pop shoe store that had some cute kids shoes. We went in and Natalya looked at me "MOMMY! I need to go poo-poo in the potty!" So I asked the guy if they had a restroom and he said sure- showed me where it was. I took off her diaper, and it was totally dry. I was shocked since it had been approx. 5 minutes since she told me she had to go. I helped her on the potty and she peed (a lot) and then pooped. I was SO PROUD of her!
We're on the way!!

Maya Angelou

Pictures from the editor of the paper!

Writing a novel in a month? Maybe

I did it. I signed up for Nano after much harassing from Susan. If you haven't heard of it, you write a novel in a month. 50,000 words- that breaks down to approximately 1700 words per day. Of course I'm moving in November, so I don't know if I'll complete the goal, but I'll do my best.

Now...what on earth am I going to write about?

www.nanowrimo.org for those interested in trying it with me!! My username is mom2natalya if you want to be my writing buddy. :)

I am a seriously proud mama.

Natalya has been taking Water Babies for two months, She's probably had 7 or 8 45-minute classes. At the beginning she wouldn't let me put her on her back and was a little nervous about me not being attached to her. Today she had one of those noodles under her arms and was swimming without any help! I was about twenty feet away and the lifeguard was a couple of feet away and she was swimming to me, kicking and paddling like crazy. Last week she was doing it, but whining "mommy, pick me up" and "Mommy, I want to put it up (the noodle)" the whole time. Today she was smiling and laughing while swimming. She will also hold her breath and go under water, wearing her goggles, and look for an object (if I hold her).
The lifeguard asked me when she was going to turn three and I said, oh, she just turned two a couple of months ago! She was shocked. She said "That's AMAZING! She's going to be swimming before she's three"
I am so proud of her!!

Then, in her gymnastics class, we just started a new session and there are a few new moms in there. The class she is in is a 3-4 year old class, and the other moms thought she was about three and a half based on her balance. She can walk on the beam all by herself, frontward and side-to-side. She has such great balance it blows me away.

I am so proud of her and so glad I got her started on these sorts of things. She loves it and, especially the swimming, it's such a good skill to have!

Results of autopsy and placenta are IN!

And they are a little odd.

Placenta was perfect. Margaret's organs were all perfect, although her lungs were immature. The odd thing was that there was a lot of thick meconium (unusual for 31 weeks, especially for it to be that thick). The combination of her lungs being immature, the meconium, and me having a lot of fluid makes sense because the iummature lungs would not have been "breathing" in the fluid properly, which would have her producing more urine than fluid going in. In combination with the meconium, the lungs would not be able to function properly with the meconium that was present. Now, what causes those things, since everything else was normal, is unknown.

No chromosome disorders or genetic defects.

The good news is that my chances of this happening again are the same as it would be for anyone else. The SUCK part is that most likely, if she had been born a week prior she would've needed time for her lungs to mature, but in all other ways she would have been fine.

So there it is. Now we know.

The dr I talked to was unsure about the meconium, so much so that she's going to do some research into it and see if she can find anything that might be a cause and let me know. I will probably do some googling myself and see if I can come up with anything.

Pathology results complete!

I have an appointment with the doctor on Friday to find out the results. I don't know whether I'm hoping for "We couldn't find anything" or "There was a problem and it was..."
A little of me wants both. The first because it means it was a random accident and any future pregnancies are more than likely safe, but also, there's no way to know if it will happen again. The second because it means there was something wrong and it might be preventable in the future, but that it might be genetic and now that we know, we have a higher chance of it happening again.
Nothing I worry about now will change the outcome, so I'm trying to just keep my shorts on and wait until Friday to find out. After three and a half months, what's three more days after all?

For my husband

Who I tell I love him, but never why

For the foot massage on the first night we hung out, and because you deny it to this day.
Because you came to check on me, across town, when I was sick.
For running barefoot in the ice and snow to retrieve my toothbrush from the car.
For confiding in me your darkest secrets.
For telling me to quit my job when I couldn't take it anymore.
Because you've read more pregnancy, birth and child-rearing books than I have.
For trading hard labor so I could get a pregnancy massage when I felt like a whale.
Because you held me up, literally, during Natalya's birth and because you were almost more sore than me after.
For caring for Natalya during her first six months and for being a wonderfual father to her then and now.
For not being afraid to wear our daughter in public.
Because you supported every second of my need to breastfeed our child and for showing the nation and world your support at the nurse-in and subsequent photographs taken and published by the AP.
For tears unshed at Natalya's birth, and for tears shed at Margaret's.
For the sacrifice of your time with your family for your family.
Because you trust me and never question my loyalty and love for you.

For all the things every day that I forget to say thank you for
and because you're a kind and generous soul who loves me and loves our children and takes the time to show it.

Because you are the man I never knew I wanted and because
you fit my missing half so well.

For all this and more
I love you

Moving sucks. Part 1.

Ugh. This is the part I hate about moving, except for the moving. :) The packing. Even harder that I have a 27 month old daughter who goes behind me taking things out of boxes that I just put in there.
This makes my usual packing method of, start packing a box in the kitchen, find a sock, take it to the bedroom and start a box for clothes we're not wearing, find a photo album, take it to the office and start a box for books, find a tupperware lid, go to kitchen and put in kitchen box, etc, especially difficult, so I've had to adjust my packing methods. This means I have to finish and tape a box before little hands can start pulling things out. This also means little helpers beg to help with the tape, and writing things on the boxes.
My boxes will soon be labeled with Natalya writing and no one will know what's in them anyway, so I should give up on my organized packing and just throw everything in boxes and get on with it already.
Then there's the fact that I am doing this entire packing thing by myself. That's fun too. It will be even more fun when husband goes to look for something and can't find it because I've already packed it away. :) And don't remember what box it's in!

It will soon be all a distant memory...

Stupid horomones

Sometimes, ok, most times, I forget I gave birth three months ago. Then something will happen and those darn horomones will rear their ugly little heads.
GAH!
A friend I used to work with sent me a very sweet and exciting email tonight, she and her husband are expecting their second child.

...and an ultrasound picture was attached.

The last time I saw that sight, I was looking at my unborn child on a monitor- compltely still.

God I hate this. I want to be happy for them and not have it tainted with my own emotions.

Still no answers. I don't know what on earth the pathologist is doing but I am starting to get really pissed off. I know this isn't inportant to him, but I need answers. We need answers.

It's official

We're moving! I just got word from the agent that the house we looked at in Clarksville is ours! We get keys on Nov. 17th.

Now I have to pack the house!

Swimming!

Natalya is swimming!! With a noodle under her arms, but swimming nonetheless. :) Today she was kicking and paddling up a storm and after about 30-45 seconds she realized I wasn't holding her and started freaking out a little, but she was doing great! She holds her breath whenever I tell her we're "going under!" even though she doesn't like to go under. ;)
The instructor/lifeguard said I need to get her some goggles (luckily it's the end of the season so I hopefully can find them on clearance) and practice putting her head under in the tub, picking up pennies and things. So off to Wal-Mart tomorrow!

I am SO proud of her!!

My child is a nut. :)

But in a good way!

We went up to Nashville this past weekend to check out some houses, visit family and for me to meet up with the guy I will be working with once I move.

Natalya had a great time, but, of course, had her moments.

Last night, she discovered Mamu's bag of curlers and wanted me to put them in her hair. She stood while I did her entire head.

Later she points to her chest with both hands and says "Lookit Mommy. Boobies!" Then, "Where's my bra?"

We went to go see a house in Clarksville, then went and visited a friend of mine from college- she has a daughter eleven months older than Natalya. Natalya LOVED playing with her. All the way home, "Mommy, where's Mady? Play with Mady Mommy! Please.....play with mady" I told her she'll have plenty of opportunities soon. :) It looks like the hoiuse we looked at is going to work! The location is good, on a cul-de-sac, with an acre+ of land (mostly wooded)It's super quiet and the guy said deer come hang out in the back yard all the time. The house is a small cottage, so the rooms aren't huge, but it has a one-car garage and a finished basement almost the size of the house, so it's got lots of storage (YAY!!) and room. It is also about five minutes from my friend's house. Super-YAY! As of now, it looks like we'll be able to get the keys on Nov. 17th, so the tentative plan is to move that Saturday, or the next one. (pencil it in on your calendars. ;) )

While visiting my friend, Natalya also got to hold her three-month old (born the day before her birthday, and nine days after Margaret). She was SO cute! "Mommy, I carry baby please". She would sit on the couch and put her arms out so she could hold him, then wrap her arms around him and pat his back and rub his chest and say "Mommy, he is sooooo cute!"

I had my first moment where I didn't know what to say, or if I should say anything about Margaret. The agent showing the house asked me if Natalya was an only child. I wanted to tell her no, but it was easier to just say "for now". :( I felt like I was not being honest to her memory, but I guess it's easier that way sometimes.

We bought Natalya a Halloween costume today. And no, I'm not telling what it is. You'll have to wait and see yourself. ;)

The Ugly Hat

A friend of ours online, Susan, was diagnosed with Breast Cancer back in December. She went through chemotherapy and is doing well now, but a friend of hers gave her this very, very ugly hat to wear when she lost her hair. I don't know why this friend thought this was a good idea, because not only was the hat ugly, it's also itchy. Anyway, somehow it got started that the hat goes and visits everyone on the board and pictures are taken with the hat in new places and on new people. The hat has been to Norway, the Canadian Ice Roads, dairy farms, zoos, racetracks, WTC memorial, the beach, and so on.
I wish I was the hat!! So this past weekend, while in NY, we had the hat and took a bunch of pics of it in different places. Luckily for the hat, it got to ride in First class with Emily and I, instead of in cargo. So it enjoyed a cocktail while there. (pic attached).

Unfortunately we were one day early of October, Breast Cancer awareness month, because they offered a special drink during October to celebrate and donations went to the Breast Cancer Awareness fund. Otherwise, the hat definitly would have had that drink.

So there it is, the story of the hat. Emily has it now, and I will have it at the end of the week.

Natalya's newest comments

While reading a Disney princess book, she points at Cinderella and says "look, like Mommy". AWWWWWWW

She climbed up on her changing table and said "Look Mommy, I up high like a diamond in the sky"

Last night she said "I want peanuts please Daddy" in a perfect sentence. Her grammar is absolutely amazing. She is consistently saying "It is" for her colors, for example, Natalya, what color is the turtle? "It is green"

She has finally learned to say "I want" instead of "Have some". So "I want some popsicle please" instead of "have some popsicle please"

She's also getting great at using the potty. She was wearing her pj bottoms and no diaper one day and she went poo in the potty and didn't get any on her pants. She took them of, went potty, attempted to wipe her bottom- all without making a complete mess. This week's goal is to try out panties. So we'll see how that goes.

Today at swimming class she swam all by herself with only the support of a pool noodle!! She was kicking and paddling and floating without any help from me or the lifeguard.

New York!

What a great weekend!! I met Emily at the airport on Friday and we flew up to Jersey. After a slight delay on the tarmac we were finally underway and thanks to a strong tailwind made up most of our time. Rachel met us at the airport and it felt like seeing an old friend, not awkward at all. Rachel took us back to her house, with some help from Lola, her GPS :) and we talked until too late!
We hit the hay around midnight and then were up around 6 am to get ready and go to breakfast. We ate at this cute little diner- YUM and then met Jacqueline at Rachel's house. I hopeed in Jacq's car and off we went to the ferry terminal to meet up with the other gals.
We got there about three seconds before Jen, Jess and Cyn, so we all hugged and then went over to the terminal to head into the city. It was the coolest thing. I have never been on a ferry like that. (thanks to my sea-bands I didn't get nauseous) We did a cruise around the city, and that was really fun- we got to see the sights and talk at the same time without walking too much. ;)
After the cruise we walked into TImes Square which was so HUGE! I knew it was big, but it was way more than I expected. We had lunch at Bubba Gump, yummy, but pricey, then did the tourist thing, walked around, bought some souveniers, checked out the Hershey's and M&M store as well as Toys R Us store (um, three floors with a carousel INSIDE). Craziness! After a long day, we headed back to the ferry and I accosted a fireman to take his picture with the ugly hat. Ha. He obliged and I have included the photo. (for more about the Ugly Hat, tune in later)
We all rode back on the ferry then parted ways for the day. Rachel, Em and I went to dinner at a steakhouse, had some drinks and did some more talking. :) Then we stayed up too late talking at Rachel's and went to bed around 1am.
The next morning we met up with Cyn, Jen and Jess at Cheesecake Factory for brunch and had the pleasure of meeting Jess and Cyn's kids. SO well-behaved!!! I could not believe that Charlotte, Cyn's daughter who is Natalya's age, stayed at the table, sitting nicely for the meal. Natalya would have been under and on the table the whole time. Then we walked around the mall, and Rachel and Em and I went and sat at Starbucks and talked then went back to the airport.
It was a whirlwind, but so much fun!! Now everyone has to come visit us down here in the south. ;)
When I got home, Natalya attacked me, and hugged me, then patted my back with both hands, then huggggged me, then patted my shoulders with her hands, and so on. It was too funny.
Jacqueline bought us all these crazy foam hats like the statue of liberty, and Natalya loves it. I wore it for her and she said "Mommy, you like a star!"
What a wonderful and much needed weekend.
I missed my baby and Doug, but in a good way.