September 4, 2007, or, as it says on my calender: "Baby Due"

Today is a tough day.

If all had gone as planned, I would be hot, tired, whiny and wondering when my little one was going to make an appearance. I'd be testing out the birth pool, making sure all the supplies were together, driving my midwife crazy and stressing out over whether Doug was too far from home.

Today, Natalya started her swim classes. She had so much fun, she didn't want to leave. :) We were instructed to sit on the side of the pool next to our little ones, and then get in the water, then bring them in with us. I sat down, Natalya sat down, and she jumps in! I said, whoa there cowgirl... let's throttle back. :) She absolutely had a blast. She was using the kickboard, floating on the noodle, doing awesome at everything. The instructors couldn't believe it was her first time in a pool. One said, "She's going to be swimming by next week!" :D She certainly got Mom's water-loving genes, no doubt about it. The only thing- I didn't expect I would get a workout too! A good thing though, but man, I am beat.

I met another Mom who cloth-diapers. Her 9 month-old (adjusted) son was in Natalya's swim class. I was so happy to recognize a Fuzzi Bun! Her little boy was induced at 25 weeks because she developed HELLP syndrome. He was tiny, but didn't have any problems other than lung issues. I couldn't help but wonder if I had been induced at 30 weeks, if Margaret would be with us. Knowing the results of the pathology reports would certainly help those sorts of thoughts.

Swimming was a good distraction, but I still called the Bereavement Coordinator at the hospital to see if they had any news on the pathology and autopsy reports. We're at 9 weeks now and still nothing. I am chomping at the bit a little and REALLY want to know what they found out.

Amanda is coming for a visit, spending the night with us tonight. I am thrilled to not be here by myself today. I'm sure we would pull through, but it helps to have another adult here.