6 weeks gone

I hate Saturdays...and Sundays....and Mondays.

I look forward to the Saturday that I don't think "well, this time 6 weeks ago". Because that's what I'm doing now. As I was putting Natalya to bed, reading her a story, I thought, this time 6 weeks ago I realized that the baby hadn't moved in a while.

I know this may never happen, but I am certainly looking forward to the Saturday that it doesn't hit me quite so hard, the Sunday that it doesn't hurt so much and the Monday that I don't think of the only time I got to hold my second-born in my arms and leave the hospital, remembering being rolled out in a wheelchair, my arms empty, and waiting for Doug to bring the car around while I watched another father loading flowers and congratulations "it's a girl" balloons in his car while his wife sat in her wheelchair holding a carseat with a newborn baby in it.